how i envy friends who have close relationships with their parents. the envy i feel is not of a jealous nature, but one that could make me feel like having a fulfilling relationship with my folks would (probably) be the only thing i would regret not achieving in this lifetime. sometimes i anger my parents a tad too much and when i try to compromise and be nice to them, i think about the times in the past when they weren't there for me when i needed them most. yet, they complain that i place too much emphasis on friendship when they themselves fail to provide some sort of comfort at home. i guess the only way to overcome my personal barrier would be to forgive and put the past behind. the only thing is, how do i cultivate better communication between us when so much animosity keeps us apart ever so often?

they say that blood is thicker than water and family comes first.
somehow, i'm beginning to truly believe that things can be better in time to come.
my friend: "you might as well shut down your blog."
me: "why?:
my friend: "when was the last time you updated?!"

okay, i admit that i'm plain lazy and face it, who actually enjoys reading the emo shite someone else is going through? even reading about unnatural attraction between a specific gender of the human species is far more exciting.

just the other day, a bunch of us went skating/cycling at east coast park. i was a first timer at skating and yes, my ass does hurt from falling down. skating sure looks easier than it really is. boy, it was tough balancing at first. after a period of falling on my butt and holding onto railings, i finally managed to skate without support for a (very) short distance. it was belittling knowing i was the only one in the group who didn't know how to skate at all but hey, i learnt something new! it's been a long while since i've relaxed at the beach and it was refreshing to have done so that evening (even though we didn't spend much time there). all the talk about careers and money was a tad depressing but that's the reason why we bother to follow the paper chase no? or the supposed reason at least. it bloody hell is difficult finding a decent part time job nowadays. what a bitch.

pardon my sudden excessive swearing (to some). maybe it's because i haven't been feeling emotionally secure for the longest time and yeah, what a trip it is figuring out just what the fuck you want. but hey, when is it ever enough? never mate, never.

choices and decisions.
obligations.

love is just another game.
with a hefty price to pay.

how i envy friends who have close relationships with their parents. the envy i feel is not of a jealous nature, but one that could make me feel like having a fulfilling relationship with my folks would (probably) be the only thing i would regret not achieving in this lifetime. sometimes i anger my parents a tad too much and when i try to compromise and be nice to them, i think about the times in the past when they weren't there for me when i needed them most. yet, they complain that i place too much emphasis on friendship when they themselves fail to provide some sort of comfort at home. i guess the only way to overcome my personal barrier would be to forgive and put the past behind. the only thing is, how do i cultivate better communication between us when so much animosity keeps us apart ever so often?

they say that blood is thicker than water and family comes first.
somehow, i'm beginning to truly believe that things can be better in time to come.