when i was 16, i dreamt about what life would be like as a uni student. now that i'm an undergraduate, thinking back about how i was like really puts me in a dilemma of whether to laugh or cry about the past. life at 16 is so different from life at 20. i underwent a major personality and mindset change in just a mere difference of 4 years. i was selfish, immature and arrogant. now, i'm less selfish, immature and arrogant. man, i was such a bitch. i'm proud to say that i'm less of a bitch now. it's amazing how much i have toned down over the years and how much i have grown. i guess i grew out of that dumb teenage phase. i never thought of myself as being a likable person. i've always thought that people hated me one way or another. or perhaps i never really believed in my abilities and talents. maybe i was afraid to embrace the person that i was.. the person that i am.

i'm 21 this year but i feel so much older than that. waking up each day is such a chore. i keep asking myself why i find my life so uninteresting at times. i guess you could say that i feel old.. and frankly, i don't want to feel this way. i want to be young again.. i want to be youthful. i want to wake up each morning and smile and feel happy because i know the day will turn out just fine.

and then i wonder about the choices i make in life. are they right? are the wrong? i don't know for sure, but what i do know is that whatever choices i made seemed the best at that point in time. and the big question mark about this weird thing called fate. is fate simply an unknown factor in your life or does it determine how your life will turn out to be? the future is a scary thing because you can't predict it. but death is more because you have to prepare for your inevitable ending.

when i was 16, i dreamt about what life would be like as a uni student. now that i'm an undergraduate, thinking back about how i was like really puts me in a dilemma of whether to laugh or cry about the past. life at 16 is so different from life at 20. i underwent a major personality and mindset change in just a mere difference of 4 years. i was selfish, immature and arrogant. now, i'm less selfish, immature and arrogant. man, i was such a bitch. i'm proud to say that i'm less of a bitch now. it's amazing how much i have toned down over the years and how much i have grown. i guess i grew out of that dumb teenage phase. i never thought of myself as being a likable person. i've always thought that people hated me one way or another. or perhaps i never really believed in my abilities and talents. maybe i was afraid to embrace the person that i was.. the person that i am.

i'm 21 this year but i feel so much older than that. waking up each day is such a chore. i keep asking myself why i find my life so uninteresting at times. i guess you could say that i feel old.. and frankly, i don't want to feel this way. i want to be young again.. i want to be youthful. i want to wake up each morning and smile and feel happy because i know the day will turn out just fine.

and then i wonder about the choices i make in life. are they right? are the wrong? i don't know for sure, but what i do know is that whatever choices i made seemed the best at that point in time. and the big question mark about this weird thing called fate. is fate simply an unknown factor in your life or does it determine how your life will turn out to be? the future is a scary thing because you can't predict it. but death is more because you have to prepare for your inevitable ending.